Herman’s Army

The campaign to Save Herman has hit the Capital and the streets are alive with thousands of demonstrators. Latest reports suggest that up to 10,000 people, many of them children, are marching through the streets of London in a final and desperate attempt to save the life of Herman.

The protestors gathered in Hyde Park this morning for the start of their march, which will be routed along Oxford Street, Regent Street and Parliament Street before culminating with a massive sit-in in St James’s Park. Many speakers have already taken the stage in Hyde Park to Highlight the plight of Herman: one speaker, 8 year old Thomas Robertson from Wolverhampton, moved many protestors to tears with his emotional dialogue.

“This is a day, the like of which has never been seen before in this land. Not once, in our proud history, have Britain’s children taken such a stand against the Tyranny and Hermanicide. In the past, we have accepted that the ‘grown-ups’ know best; but now is the time to make our voices heard. We, the youth of today, will be triumphant in our cause. How many times have you seen a supposedly sensitive and kind adult, trampling all over a few Ants, or squashing a Wasp that’s just going about its business? It’s an all too familiar sight on our streets, and one that must stop. Right now, in hundreds of homes across the land, Herman is being held captive and undergoing the cruellest of torture. He is left on the kitchen worktop for days without food and is beaten on a regular basis. After only 2 meals in 9 days, he is then force-fed a final feast before being cooked alive. This unnecessary suffering must stop and we are the ones to make it happen. Join with me now, as we make our way towards Downing Street, and help me to bring the plight of poor Herman to the eyes of the Nation”.

“Hermans Army, march for Justice, little people we may be”.

“Hermans Army, march for Justice. Make the grown-ups set him free”.

As a reporter, I’ve travelled the world and seen many things, but this speech made an impression that I will be hard-pushed to forget.  As the protestors headed towards Oxford Street, you couldn’t fail to notice the dignity with which they marched and it would be impossible not to look upon them with a considerable amount of respect.

Adding strength to Herman’s cause the Prime Minister, in an unprecedented move, has agreed to receive the petition in person. In a statement today, he said, “These young people are the future of this country and as such we should listen to what they have to say. It is not always possible to agree with everyone, but we are not a dictatorship, we are a democracy. I will take note of what is being asked and my ministers and I will try to find a satisfactory resolution to this conflict.” Her Majesty, The Queen, declined to comment further but did say; “I have every faith that my ministers will act in accordance with the wishes of my people.”

As the Protest continues, police have appealed for calm and are asking for anyone, not directly involved in the protest, to please avoid the area.

Killing Herman

Killing Herman

For my sins, I have two jobs. My primary job working at Star, taking phone calls for other companies, and my second working two evenings each week in the local village pub. 10 days ago I arrived at the pub to begin my shift, and discovered to my delight, that a friend had left me a gift.

I had just been given my first ever Herman – “If you put me in the fridge, I will die. If I stop bubbling I am dead.”

Sitting on the bar in a small plastic bowl was a gooey, bubbly mix, along with some very specific instructions on how to look after my very own friendship cake. I was delighted and extremely fascinated and as is the norm nowadays, I went straight to Google to read up on Herman the German Friendship Cake. (However we managed before the days of the internet, I do not know).

Herman is based on the same principle as sourdough, which is thought to have originated in Egypt around 1,500 years BC. Until the Middle Ages this method of leavening was still used throughout much of Europe; before being replaced by brewers barm and eventually cultured yeast.

Sourdough begins with a ‘starter mix’ and is then nurtured and fed so that it continues to ferment and grow. A baker will take what he needs from the mix, always leaving some behind which he will then continue to feed. In some bakeries and homes the mix can be traced back through generations; in fact one baker in San Francisco claims that theirs can be traced back to the days of the Californian Gold Rush. It’s Fascinating reading the history behind this type of baking, but nothing compares to receiving your own starter that you can mollycoddle and eventually turn into a wonderful cake.

I must confess to having a bit of a thing for yeast. It goes back to my childhood when my Mum made her own bread every so often and the smell of yeast is something that I cannot resist. Put simply; I love it. With Herman I have had, not only the aroma but, also the joy of seeing the bubbles as the cake takes on a life of its own during fermentation. It is very easy to look after Herman and requires little effort, but he can die. Children especially will be devastated if anything happens to Herman, and some are known to get upset when he is finally baked; so no matter what else you do, please try not to kill him.

So anyway, for 10 days, I have been stirring, feeding and talking to Herman and last night came the time to split Herman into 5 portions. I have given 3 away to friends and, rather greedily, kept two for myself. Tonight I will bake two cakes, one using the recipe that I was given and another using a variation that I found on the web. To say I’m excited is putting it mildly. What if it goes wrong, or just doesn’t taste good? When it takes 10 days to make a cake, it really needs to be something special and I can’t wait to get Herman into the oven later today.

I noticed when I was researching the ‘friendship cake’ tradition that many people had posted very negative comments, describing it as being akin to a chain letter. I personally think there are far worse things that go round on Facebook, whereby you feel pressured into liking an item that someone has posted. My friends often post things that imply if you don’t click ‘like’ then you are not a true friend or don’t care about a particular cause: What poppycock! When it comes to a friendship cake, it’s seems quite simple to me. If you wish to pass Herman on; then check with your friends beforehand. There’s no point leaving him on someone’s doorstep if they’re not interested.

I hope that many of you will receive, bake and make gifts of a Herman and that you will enjoy the experience as much as I have. Please let me know your Herman stories.

Herman’s instructions

Day 1 Today Herman is given to you. Congratulations you have a friend. Pour him into a bowl as he will continue to grow.

Day 2 Stir Herman 2-3 times a day with a wooden spoon

Day 3 Stir Herman, talk to him!

Day 4 Herman is hungry. Feed him 200mls milk, 200g caster sugar and 250g sifted

self-raising flour

Day 5 Stir Herman

Day 6 Stir Herman

Day 7 Stir Herman

Day 8 Stir Herman, don’t forget to talk to him

Day 9 Feed Herman as for day 4. Then split into 5 little Hermans and give 4 away with these instructions

Day 10 Feed your remaining Herman with 150g Self raising flour, 3 beaten eggs, 150g caster sugar, 2 tbsp cinnamon powder, 100g chopped nuts or dried fruit, 2 finely chopped apples, 100ml of oil.

Cook Herman in a lined 7″ cake tin for about an hour at 180ºC . Then eat!

And this is the recipe if you want to start your own Herman

Ingredients

• 460g flour
• 500ml milk
• 230g sugar
• 90ml warm water
• 2 tbsp active dry yeast

1. Sprinkle 1 tbsp of sugar over the warm water
2. Sprinkle the yeast over this and leave in a warm place for about 10 minutes to double in size
3. Mix the milk, sugar, flour and yeast mixture in a large bowl, stir using a wooden spoon
4. Cover loosely
5. Place in a warm place and stir every day.

Police march on London

I can’t claim to know the ins and outs of why the police are marching on London today. Not being one for the news, I gleam all my knowledge nowadays from Twitter. It gives me the option of choosing what I want to know, rather than what the media seems to think I want to know (and believe me there’s a big difference). What I can ascertain, is that the police clearly think they have a very good reason for doing this, and have gone to a lot of trouble to organise this protest.

From what I have managed to work out, it appears that the protest is about cuts to the police force. Thanks to the wonderful world of the internet, I have Googled and discovered that many jobs will be lost including both Officers and police staff. It is suggested that, for instance, Northamptonshire will lose 604 staff and the Met 3,200 staff. The total loss Nationwide will exceed 34,000 of which a staggering 16,000 are actual police officers.

Now, regardless of what I may or may not know, and even without more facts and figures; even I would have to reason that this can’t be a good thing.

Are crime figures going down? Are there fewer burglaries and assaults? Maybe there are. I came across these statistics that say exactly that, but is that all we need to think about?

Figures from the office for National Statistics

• Total recorded crime fell from 4,159,553 to 4,043,339 – a fall of 3%
• Muggings and street robberies increased by 8% last year
• Violence against the person decreased by 7%
• Domestic burglaries dropped 3%
• Car thefts increased by 2%
• Separate figures from the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) – the new name for the British Crime Survey – showed “no statistically significant change in overall crime” with police recording 3% fewer incidents

If it is true that there is going to be a 20% reduction in central government spending on police forces and yet recorded crime has only fallen by 3%; then we are heading for trouble. It is also interesting to note that muggings and street robberies increased by a whopping 8%. Is this due to their being fewer ‘beat’ bobbies around?

Yes, there is a recession and yes, we all realise that there is no excess money to splash out on luxuries; but this is not what we are talking about here. We are talking about the safety of the people of this country. We are talking about having a force that still does not carry firearms as standard. Yes, they make mistakes, some of which are fatal and innocent people have sadly died; Can we though, in all honesty, judge the entire police force by the mistakes of a few? After all, as errors are made, lessons are learnt and improvements are constantly being made. We need to remember that on the other side of the coin, many officers lose their lives in the line of duty.

In my parents and grandparents days, people got involved. I can still picture my Nan, giving someone a right ticking off if they were doing something she didn’t think they should be doing. Nowadays people are killed for far less and understandably we ignore much of what we see around us.

As the ‘weapon culture’ continues to grow in this country, we need our Police more than ever before; Should we really be cutting them down?

Your views will be most welcome

Credentials and Dress Codes

Is it that time of year or is it the gloomy economic outlook? Am I the only one inundated with offers from any number of sources telling me how I can grow the business in such difficult time and inviting me to meetings where the guest speaker will dispense knowledge and wisdom which will help me achieve my goals.

My cynicism has been borne on the back of having attended a number of these meetings and seeing the guest speaker arrive in a car that barely passed its MOT test.  Add this to the shiny suit and my mind and brain cuts out – so even if there are words of wisdom in the presentation I don’t hear them.

What’s this got to do with Marketing, you ask.

Quite a bit, actually.

I was taught by a highly successful entrepreneur that credentials really counted.  Take awards for instance, these are sometimes referred to as badges of honour; so the more relevant they are to your audience the more your audience is likely to believe in you.

Start every presentation with your credentials that way you engage your audience – at the very least you cut out the “what does she know about MY business” cynics.  Your words will count more if the audience thinks you are the ”expert”.

Look the part; dress appropriately. An undone button in the wrong place will attract far more attention from your audience than you might wish.  Men – make sure you’re properly zipped!  I know from personal experience it can be bloody difficult to adjust a zip when you’re in front of 30 or so people many of whom are not so subtly looking at the part of your anatomy you wish they weren’t.

And ladies some of the outfits I’ve seen presenters wear would be more at home on a dancer in a Soho night club than in a serious presentation.

The sad part is that appearances and credentials do count.

In a recent conversation with a client I made a couple of suggestions on how to win more business in her particular field.  “No”, was the reply “that wouldn’t work” followed by a number of reasons.  About 2 weeks later I heard her, at a networking event, extolling the virtues of her newly appointed Marketing Guru who had made virtually the same suggestions which werenow being embraced whole heartedly.

I guess it’s a case of who would you believe – someone who answers telephones for a living and offers free advice or the self appointed Guru who charges you a fortune for the same advice?

As they used to say at the end of a radio quiz – answers please on a post card to ………………..

Shooting Star

Shooting Star

Ah yes, well this would be me then, so called shooting star because of my penchant for the age old sport of toxophily. Having done over a years’ service, I am an established Starlet and although you may find the twitching left eye a little distracting, I am quite used to it now.

When I am not at work, I like practicing some Archery, reading, writing, quizzing, going to the local and live music. The last two concerts I attended were Mark Knopfler and Richard Marx, both at the Royal Albert Hall.

I sit next to Frank, who I knew long before my Star days, and who constantly gets me into trouble. I am a very naive young lady, who is easily led astray and I think he takes advantage of that. Our clients, however, think he is wonderful so it’s a small price to pay for the success of the business. (ok, so I’m 49 years old, been there got the t-shirt and give as good as I get).

I love the variety of my job, representing so many different clients is always interesting and presents new challenges every day. It would be even better, of course, if our client’s clients didn’t shout at me quite so much. I’m exaggerating, it’s quite rare really, most people are lovely.

The following line, from a very well known poem, details the essential qualities needed to become a starlet should you feel the urge.

‘If you can keep your head when all about you, are losing theirs and blaming it on you’. by Rudyard Kipling

Disaster – What disaster? How to cope when your broadband suddenly goes down

What could have been a complete disaster…….. turned into a good team building exercise although we wouldn’t recommend you do the same purposely. No Broadband for nearly 10 days – absolute frustration all round. As a back-up precaution we had a second line in (a different supplier) and managed with Googlemail to send out every message with over 95% going immediately.

If you rely on broadband to communicate with the outside world you might find the following useful:-

The only company that can really help you is the provider that you buy your telecoms from. It’s no good phoning BT if you buy your telecoms services elsewhere. BT is divided into a number of independent units and BT Openreach looks after the lines so that’s probably who you need to get through to. Be advised that they will only speak to your provider.

Be prepared, before things go wrong:

1)      Put a second line in – with a different provider. If one goes down there a good chance the second will be OK. If they both go down….well luck’s not on your side.

2)      Sign up to Care Level 3 or Care Level 4 (ask your provider about this). If things go wrong this helps to queue jump – although you might still have to wait in line to some extent.

3)      If you haven’t done so already, create a record of all your user names and passwords. These are invaluable if you need a new router.

If things go wrong

 1)       switch off your router for 20 minutes – this cures at least 50% of all issues

If this doesn’t work —-

2)      Find out who your provider goes through (for future reference find out how reliable they are). It took us quite some time to find our last link before BT was in fact Talk Talk – say no more. Nag – nag – nag – don’t take bull.

3)      Try BT – the higher up you can get in BT the better. High up they do take complaints seriously and can possibly exert a little pressure in the right direction – we actually had a senior manager turn up on a Saturday morning to help find the fault. (We found out the email address of the CEO – this probably helped!)

Hidden Talents

How you ever wondered what hidden talents lie, bubbling away, under the surface in your office.

Here at Star, a couple have just risen to the surface .

Marise makes the most wonderful cakes (and is a complete newbie at this) – the only downside is that two slices of a rather delicious Lemon Drizzle Cake has about 50% of the recommended daily calorie intake – and forget the fat content and other measures that we’re constantly bombarded with.  However as one client retorted after a mouthful – “it’s worth every single calorie and more”.

Michelle is a font of good ideas, some workable and some not so workable. In addition to such moments of inspiration, Michelle also has a good knowledge of the local community.

OK, so I hear you ask, “how does this help in the workplace?”

Firstly; by recognising and acknowledging people’s talents you can create a feel good factor which in turn has a positive effect on the way they work.

Secondly; there are always ways in which talents can be used, no matter how diverse they may be.

We work on behalf of two charities, and short of risking broken bones by playing in charity football matches, we like to support the local community where we can.

One charity operates nationally and the other, locally.  The local charity has occasional coffee mornings so, in addition to answering their phones, Marise will be easily persuaded to bake a couple of her amazingly good cakes.

With regards to Michelle, whose talents we are still discovering, an interim plan has been agreed. Michelle and I will be sorting through our garages in order to raise money for charity by doing a car boot sale.

While not necessarily a giant leap for mankind, such gestures bring people together and in doing so benefit the local community. We hope to brainstorm still more ideas and also to receive a stream of suggestions from our friends.

So, let us know – what talents are lurking in your organisation and how can they be encouraged? It is surprising what can be accomplished by making full use of the many assets already existing within your team. Don’t make the mistake of overlooking such skills, whatever they may be.